Confessions of an Awkward Mess.

When all the mothers of the Children from my Year 3 class received their Child’s photo that year, they signed happily to themselves and thought “Ah, look at my Angel, my pride and joy”… Cut to me bringing this home to my mum… “what the hell is that face you are pulling, why couldn’t you’ve opened your bloody eyes”. Well my friends, this is just the start of my life and the awkward situations that have ensued since. I can’t help but do cringe worthy things and I unashamedly am going to confess a few from over my 30 years to you… please no judgements, it is a safe space here. Right?

  1. Car Honk

I had just pulled in to my car park at work surrounded by other cars, with my colleagues in them. I lent forward to reach my Sat Nav off the dashboard and my boobs honked my horn… everyone in the cars turned to look around at what that was and instead of just saying “sorry guys, that was my tits” I also started to look around at who it could of been. AWKWARD.

2. Whatsapp Calling

I was with my friend chatting about boys and things when we went onto the subject of one particular person I was casually seeing at the time. They wanted to see a picture of them so I went onto Whatsapp to show them their profile picture but I didn’t hit the picture I hit the call button and couldn’t cancel it before it went through… they then messaged me asking if and why I called and I had to pretend it was because I wanted to show my friend the glasses they were wearing in the picture as we wanted to buy some. They never spoke to me again. AWKWARD.

3. Tip Top Date

About 5 years ago I went on a date with someone my friend introduced me to (first and only real ‘date’ I have ever been on). It was an okay date at a nice pub, he was a bit boring and I wasn’t really interested, As he dropped me home and went to give me a hug/kiss on the cheek goodbye I panicked and said “thanks for a tip top evening sir” and patted him on the head, I never heard from him again… AWKWARD.

This one is from my mum… an idea of where I get this affliction from.

4. MINGEY

My mum went into a local well known coffee shop and ordered a Tea Cake from a young male barista, with butter and jam. When they passed over the butter, it was only one small packet which wasn’t enough, so my mum said…”Can I have another butter please… don’t be mingey”. My mum meant to say stingey (tight/greedy/ungenerous) but instead she just called a young man mingey (US friends…Minge is a UK word for vagina). AWKWARD.


I have 100s more of these situations, so if you enjoy my awkward misery let me know if you want more of these posts.

What is your most awkward moment?

A x

17 thoughts on “Confessions of an Awkward Mess.

  1. Haha. Can’t deny, I laughed at these.

    I was once at a job interview.
    My hair was perfect, my make up and clothes too.
    I felt confident and energetic. Especially because I listened to some of my favorite music through my headphones, loudly.

    I got in the office, shook hands with interviewer and hanged my coat.
    Apparently I wasn’t careful enough and somehow switched on my mp3 player again.
    For the first 10 minutes it must have been more quiet songs, because after that clear Balkan Beats were to be heard.
    The interviewer got annoyed and walked outside to see whether someone put on the radio loudly.
    I felt too embarrassed to tell him that it was me.

    Man. I couldn’t wait to get out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha that’s brilliant – did you get the job? !!! I love an awkward tale – they are character building that’s for sure.
      Thank you for reading and sharing yours πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•

      Like

  2. haha the whatsapp one is funny! I used to do dance class and theres this one adorable photo of all of us stood outside in our flower crowns and looking like little princesses, then if you zoom in you can see me pulling the WORST face ever squinting at the sun haha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am DYING. “I had to pretend it was because I wanted to show my friend the glasses they were wearing in the picture as we wanted to buy some.” / “As he dropped me home and went to give me a hug/kiss on the cheek goodbye I panicked and said β€œthanks for a tip top evening sir” and patted him on the head”. S.C.R.E.A.M.I.N.G. I can’t. omfg. You are the best hahhaha this is one of my favourite posts EVER xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ glad you enjoyed! Trust me, I never thought that would ever happen but if someone goes in for a kiss and you don’t want it… what was I meant to do??? Well probably not pat him on the head 🀣🀣

      Liked by 1 person

  4. LOL ABBY!! All of these were so funny especially number 3!! I love that you shared your mom’s story too so we see where you get it from. πŸ˜‰ I’d def love to read more of these awkward tales!! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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