So I have a strange taste in men…soz Dan. Actually, to be fair Dan is relatively ‘normal’ looking in comparison to my usual type on paper (Oh Love Island I miss you already).
I just don’t find conventionally attractive men, that attractive. For example, everyone I know would say Channing Tatum is in their Top 5 but to me he looks like a giant Maris Piper, so I have renamed him thusly to Channing Potatum – I apologise if you only see a potato when you look at him now. I just don’t get it, I don’t really like muscles or someone that looks like they spend a long time on their appearance. I am not here for preened, plucked and waxed. No thanks mate. I like a quirk, a difference, something that makes someone stand out. I like humour. I like a fucking Dad Bod alright.
Let’s go in Friends style – I have worked out my Top 5, I have pondered, I have changed and swapped but now I have typed them up, laminated them and they are confirmed into the world. So for you Ross my Freebie List on Laminated Paper, in no particular order is…
The man is just beautiful. Cheekbones to die for. I like the fact he looks like Steve Buscemi (I fancy him a bit too) and I like the fact that when he smiles he still looks like Pennywise a bit.
Beautiful and creepy. Live for that.
Again look at them cheeks. I think there is something interesting about Ezra Miller. I like him with long hair, short hair, when he looks unwashed and heroin sheek. I even find him attractive as Credence in Fantastic Beasts… I know… even with that haircut. Or when he dressed up as a female toadstool from Mario Bros. at the latest SDCC.
I think Paul Dano is just an incredible actor & that’s why I like him so much. I fell in love with him when he played Dwayne in Little Mis Sunshine and that was then cemented at his performance as Brian Wilson in Love&Mercy (guys if you like The Beach Boys or even if not, this is a must watch). Paul Dano I am here for you even when you play really creepy roles like in The Prisoner or Swiss Army Man. I am still here.
King of the Dad Bods & we all know I love a beard… queue Dan. I love Romesh, he is unbelievably funny and I just love that kind of dry, dead pan, sarcastic humour. If you haven’t watch Agent Provocateur on Netflix or The Misadventures of Romesh Raanganathan on BBC then you need to, its just brilliant. There is something about him that I find incredibly charming and attractive. It really is true that a man can laugh you into bed.
I like him with Lobster Hands. I like him as a Zombie. I like him as Charles Manson. I like him as a 20th Century Serial Killer. I like him as Andy Warhol. I like him as a crazed Cult Leader. I am here for every AHS version of Evan Peters & each role he plays gets better and better. I like that he is creepy & unhinged looking. All I want next is him to play Kurt Cobain is some way or another. What a hun.
Guys, tell me your Top 5. Do you like pretty looking fellas, or are you feeling something a bit different like me?