Happy Sunday my Lovelies,
I cut off my safety blanket.
To everyone reading this, having a hair cut might not be a big deal for you but to me, it really is. I haven’t had my haircut properly, in about FOUR YEARS. I had extensions in for the most part of that and since I have had them out I have been trimming the ends…
For as long as I can remember I have been unhappy and uncomfortable in my body and with the very round shape of my face and my hair has always been something I could hide behind. I remember having my hair cut when I was about 16 and they did an experimental look and it was hideous, an asymmetrical fringe and a mullet… I have never cried so much. I was already self-conscious about my face and now it had been completely opened up. My mum took me to have extensions a few days later and that has pretty much been my hair life for 13 years.
I have gone between permanent micro link extensions and clip ins, as I thought it made me and my face slimmer – this curtain of hair was something to hide me and my weight behind. I would NEVER go out without them, in fact I would have full on anxiety if I didn’t have them, well I just wouldn’t go out.
I had my extensions put in for the last time in April this year and in around June I took them out. Out of nowhere a part of my felt like I didn’t need them anymore… my natural hair was still pretty long so that offered some peace but still being without my extension’s was a big step, they have been my support system for so long.
About a month ago I knew it was time to take the plunge and have it cut but I knew I didn’t want to just have a trim I wanted to cut it properly, to try something new, which meant cutting around 10 inches off of it.
So I did it. I didn’t over think it too much and I just did it.
At first I wasn’t sure. I looked at myself in the mirror at the hairdresser’s and instantly felt nauseous, all I could see was my face. On the way home from the salon I quickly tied it up in a bun, so I stopped looking at myself in the rearview (in case I crashed). I ran into my room, shoved on the straighteners ran them through my hair and moved it around… then I started to like it. I looked older and more stylish. I didn’t need to hide behind this mound of hair anymore. I like who I am and I like what I look like, for the most part but a lot more than I ever have. I liked it and I was happy.
Sometimes you need to rip off the safety blanket, see who you really are without it and learn to love that, because we are all beautiful even if we don’t always see it.